Off-Base: A Mouse in My Pocket

Off-Base is a new section we're adding to The Bronx View.  Occasionally, we get bit by the bug to write about something non-baseball.  Rather than pretend we can maintain another blog, we're going to post it under it's own byline.  Ignore if you wish, or give it a chance. If you're wondering why this site went dark for the last week, it's because I had to go visit a large mouse.  My wife and I spent the last week in Disney with our two boys and the in-laws.  It wasn't our first trip; we were down there about a year and a half ago as well. It may be a generational thing, but I've never understood all the hoopla that surrounds Disney, at least not in modern times.  Aren't Bugs Bunny and Charlie Brown just as iconic as Mickey Mouse?  There have been movies over the last couple of decades with Bugs Bunny actually in them.  At this point, Mickey Mouse has a children's show and that's about it.  Yet, he remains this deified icon that's rooted in a long lost mindset this country hasn't experienced in decades.  I guess if you're  smart enough and rich enough to buy up 25,000 acres in Central Florida and build a behemoth recreational resort, you're allowed to create you're own demigods. Your magical Disney vacation starts right at the airport, where you board the Magical Express bus that takes you and your belongings to whichever Disney hotel you have chosen.  Along this 35 minute ride, you will be told roughly 36 times what a magical time you will have in the Magic Kingdom.  After about ten minutes, I was expecting the bus to turn into a royal carriage with eight ivory steeds pulling us towards heaven.  The propaganda would make Noam Chomsky's head spin. Upon arriving at your hotel, you are checked in by a "cast member."  No, not Goofy or Pluto.  That would be too much fun.  No, park and hotel employees are all referred to on signs as "cast members," as if part of some big magical production that is your vacation.  This, of course, means that as a guest you are simply an extra, which is a bit disappointing. Check-in is the first time you will be exposed to a Disney "get-ya."  Concierge and front desk cast members like to hand out free buttons.  First time in Disney World?  Have a button!  Second time in Disney?  Have a Welcome Back button!  It's your birthday this week?  Etc etc. You can't buy these particular buttons.  They can only be given to you by a cast member, which means you will be asked by other guests where you got them.  Why does everybody care about buttons?  Because Disney has built an entire culture around buttons and pins. You see, beyond the big round free buttons you can get from cast members, Disney has made thousands upon thousands of pins.  These pins feature characters, rides, attractions, and anything Disney they can squeeze into a square inch.  They sell for anywhere between seven dollars and fifteen dollars and can be bought everywhere. Park patrons and cast members alike wear neckpieces like they're roadies backstage at a concert, lined with pins.  These pins can not only be bought, but park goers can trade with certain cast members as well.  Often times, cast members will have pins that aren't easily found in the stores. Not surprisingly, kids love this stuff.  My nieces in particular needed to get every single Tinkerbell pin they could find.  And therein lies the genius of the Disney pins.  Not only are they priced at a point where it's easy for a parent to quell their child's whining by simply giving in and buying one, but the ability to trade them creates a need for expendable pins.  If you have all Tinkerbell pins and you bump into a cast member who has a Tinkerbell pin you desperately want, are you going to trade Tinkerbell for Tinkerbell?  Of course not.  You're to go buy some crappy Clarabel Cow pin and trade it for the Tinkerbell pin.  You need a running stock that can be converted to pins you want. Genius. Another interesting thing about Disney World is how understated they are regarding the Pixar movies.  They do have some attractions for Finding Nemo and Monsters, Inc., but considering how huge some of those movies have been for them over the last twenty years, they're not exactly front and center.  Most notably and ironically, I thought, was the absense of Wall•E. If you have movie watching kids or just a love of Pixar films, you've undoubtely seen Wall•E.  If you haven't, you really should.  It's a clever and well made film that has some great underlying themes about society and where we are headed, made all the more relevant given the current economic times.  There are a few ideas in Wall•E in particular that stuck in my head as I walked around Disney noting it's absense. The first idea from the film that struck me is the idea that government has been replaced by a corporation called Buy N Large, or BNL.  Everything is BNL in the world of Wall•E and it is eventually the CEO of BNL that lets the world know that it has become too polluted and it's time to evacuate and allow the robots (ie Wall•E) to stick around and clean up the mess. As I walked around Disney looking for some type of Wall•E activity for my Wall•E fan son to participate in, I couldn't help but realize that Disney was Buy N Large.  Everywhere you turned, there were ads for Disney products, you were being told how great a time you were having, and people were pushing even the smallest of items on you in hopes of lightening you wallet by just a few more dollars. The second idea is probably a little more sensitive but nonetheless relevant.  In the second half of the movie Wall•E, we are introduced to humans in their space living form in the 29th century.  The human race has learned to live the slovenly life, relying on robots to do all of their work, from hitting golf balls to fetching food.  They all travel around their spaceship home in hoverchairs, grossly overweight and barely able to stand on their own two feet. I wish I could tell you that this is some crazy fictionalizing by the funny folks at Pixar, but my eyes do not lie.  At Disney, you can rent a scooter, which will allow you to drive yourself around the park should you decide that your legs aren't up to the task.  Presumably, these scooters are provided for the elderly and the George Costanza's of the world.  But, much like the movie, there were more people riding these scooters who couldn't be bothered with walking and instead drove around with one hand on the steering column and the other holding a turkey leg. I am not one to judge.  I could certainly benefit from a few more trips per week to the gym and some alterations to my diet.  But I couldn't help but be amazed at how close this country is coming to what will eventually be a major problem, which is our inability to even take care of ourselves.  While I never did find a Wall•E themed ride or show to take my son to, I looked around the World of Tomorrow at the Magic Kingdom and found myself experiencing Wall•E about as close as I ever could. Still, it was a fun week for the kids and my wife got all the time with the boys she could handle.  And in the end, that's what it's all about.