Clemens, Congress, and the Dog and Pony Show

There's a phrase used to describe people who go out of their way to work with famous people, not for their talent, but simply because they're famous.  Those people are known as starf*#kers. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to the 110th Congress: starf*#kers. The Steroids Rodeo Revue returns to Washington DC tomorrow, but the cast of characters will be a thinner than advertised.  Chuck "Twelfth Row" Knoblauch, Andy Pettitte, and Kirk Radomski have all been excused from testifying before a Congressional Committee in public after testifying in private, under oath. That leaves only the two stars, Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens to headline the main event. What's the point?  Both McNamee and Clemens gave sworn testimony to the Committee as well.  They have information from both men, under oath, as to what their participation was or wasn't in the world of steroids.  So why do we need them testifying in public to simply reiterate what they said behind closed doors? Well, I see a couple of reasons: 1) Congress wants to look like it's doing something.  Sure, this isn't as trivial as Arlen Specter probing Spygate and the New England Patriots, but on the grand scale of priorities in Washington, this should fall pretty far down on the list.  So this might be explained by- 2) Congress wants to be in the limelight.  It is, after all, an election year.  And what better way to appear as an active Congressman and look like you care about what's happening in the world than jumping all over backpage news?  Nevermind that the front page says we're in a recession and people are dying in Iraq and Hillary cried and Britney is %&#$in' nuts.  An athlete took steroids!  Convene an expensive commission that will achieve absolutely nothing but headlines and buzz! Of course, they may actually be working this week amidst pressing the flesh with 300 game winners.  And if they are, they might be using the testimony of Pettitte and Radomski to- 3) Paint Clemens into a corner.  Pettitte's testimony was reported to be inconsistent, rambling, but lo and behold, in line with McNamee and not Clemens, hence Pettitte's request to not testify in public.  Pettitte doesn't want to go on national television and sell out his friend by calling him a steroid user. But that doesn't mean that Congress can't.  If they have sworn testimony from Pettitte that he either knew Clemens was doing steroids or he discussed it with McNamee, Roger is going to have to explain this under oath, which of course leaves him open to perjury charges. And that really seems to be the whole point of this Congressional exercise.  Clemens has been shooting his mouth off since the Mitchell report was released, discrediting a former Senator's investigation which, in many circles, is considered flawed if not terribly circumstantial and incomplete.  But Roger has insulted the Old Boys Network and all the autographs and photo ops he hands out in Washington this month may not prevent them from swooping down and cornering him in a lie. There's much bigger fish to fry, both in Washington in general and in baseball.  The Moby Dick in this case is Bud Selig. John "Hate Man" Rocker on an ESPN radio station yesterday that he tested positive for steroids in 2000.  Not news since Rocker's name appeared in the Mitchell report and, if you'd seen him pitch in his prime, you'd be a fool to think he on steroids.  But Rocker went on to explain that the test was administered by Major League Baseball, and that the league and players association provided doctors to counsel on how to properly use steroids.  The test was administered after Rocker was suspended by MLB for saying mean things about New Yorkers. I love a good conspiracy as much as anyone and nothing would make me happier than to believe that Bud Selig had a special team of doctors in an underground lab concocting the best way for baseball players to maximize steroid usage and therefore maximize profits.  Because we all know that Bud's goal is to maximize profits, whether at the expense of the games integrity or not. But this seems a little far fetched even for me to accept.  We're talking about a conspiracy that reaches far beyond anything we've imagined to this point that involves dozens of people.  I can't see that happening. I can, however, see Bud Selig sitting on this information and not doing much about it.  MLb's response to Rocker's comments: "As part of the disciplinary process , Mr. Rocker was referred to the confidential Employee Assistance Program," Major League Baseball said in a statement. "Any test of Mr. Rocker would have been conducted by professionals who ran the EAP. Those professionals were obligated to maintain the confidentiality of the result and to use it in developing a treatment and education program for Mr. Rocker. Further discipline was not an option legally available to Major League Baseball at that time." The statement says that the test results from the EAP were confidential.  What it say is the level of that confidentiality.  Does that mean it remained confidential to the public?  To Rocker's employer?  This is baseball's way of making it seem like they didn't know about Rocker's test when, if they truly didn't know, they would have come out and said it.  The place is called the Employee Assistance Program.  It is based on you being an employee somewhere, which means your company has a direct interest in what they find.  You can be sure that baseball knew the results of his test. Once again, there is another incident where baseball had documented proof of a player either using steroids or being found with steroids and nothing was done.  Many of the incidents detailed in the Mitchell report were a matter of public record.  Baseball could have easily cited those incidents, referred to others as private matters, and proclaimed that the sport had a problem.  The commissioners office could have taken the high road and put the pressure, through the public, on the players to come to the table and help solve the problem. The commish didn't do that.  Instead, he hired a former Senator to conduct a limp investigation that went easy on the commissioners office and came down hard on the players.  And now, Roger Clemens has spoken up enough to further push the blame squarely on the players and further away from the only person who could have steered this problem off at the pass. And Congress is falling right in line.  Bud Selig is either an incredibly lucky man or has all the makings of a very successful evil genius  Either way, his failure is the reason we're here today.